I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
