so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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