dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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