So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
