He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
