Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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