I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
