I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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