we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
