Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
