I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
