out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
