What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize
