I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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