I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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