is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
