so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
