Just mADE A PArabola og urine
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
