You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
