I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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