i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
