a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
