doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
