drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
