Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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