pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize