In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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