8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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