I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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