I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
she peed on how many people?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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