you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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