She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
