I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
