They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
