We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
