I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
