i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
