Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
