You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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