We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize