youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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