i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
whose parrot is this?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
