Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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