Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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