New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
