Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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