Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
