Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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