either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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