You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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