Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
