well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I touched a dick in church today
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
