Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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