Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
