Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
