Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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