I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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