hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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