Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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