Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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