You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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