It's like God shit irony all over that family
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
