mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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