Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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