how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
