we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
