just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Randomize
