Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
