if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
