Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
