Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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