if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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