I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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