we made out on top of his cat.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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