if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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