Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
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