I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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