if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
