I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
