There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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