The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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