I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
