You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
