I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
