quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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